For The Mother In All Of Us

I see the mother as an essence.  A watery, moon-filled energy that has no gender. It is stable and smells of earth.  We all are mother at various times in our lives and we all need mother energy to thrive. This energy can, but does not depend on having a reliable mother-parent figure in our lives. Likewise, embodying the energy of mother can, but does not depend on being a literal mother-parent to one’s own child.  The essence of mother is more than a human role or identity.

Though I am a person with a uterus, I have chosen not to use it for the procreation of children.  I deeply honor those who have birthed human babies, however I have not, and do not foresee myself giving birth to another human person in this lifetime.  And yet, I have birthed many things.  I have offered the essence of mother to many beings, young and old alike.  I have gestated and given birth to projects and ideas.  I have nurtured, and continue to nurture many beloved children, elders, peers, community, and my self.  These are collective blessings.

In nature-based or nature-worshiping systems of thought and practice, the planet earth is called mother and the moon is called grandmother.  We see these references within indigenous cultures all over the globe, within various forms of pagan culture, and many other spiritual teachings.  The teachings of āyurveda provide us with an understanding of the five great elements (ether, air, fire, water, earth) that make up all substance, including living beings.

Stable, grounded energy is earth.  The cool, nourishing energy of water, flowing and flexible is moon as well as earthly water.  Water gives life to all things, earth sustains and holds.  Water offers cohesion, earth offers structure.  These are examples of the essence of mother I speak of.  I have learned that the energy of mother can take many forms and shows up in a variety of ways.  This energy is a part of each of us regardless of the body we inhabit.  We are all made up of earth and water, we all contain some aspect of mother energy.

For those of us un-able to see the essence of mother in our own mother-parents, we can look to other humans, animals, and plants, to help understand it.  Perhaps we did/do not have a mother-parent.  Either because we were raised by parents who do not identify as"mom" or "mother", or the one(s) we had died or was unable to offer it.  Whatever the reason, seen or not, mother energy is and has always been around us.  Life is complicated, and while this energy is present in all of us, in some form, sometimes we are unable to offer it to those who want it most and sometimes we are unable to recognize its' presence.

I feel blessed and deeply grateful to receive mother energy from many beings other than, and including my own mother-parent.  I have learned about the essence of mother from community elders and youngers alike.  From observing the animals, the earth, the water, and the moon.  I have learned about mother from random people in a store checkout line and from amazing mother-father-parent friends who bless and welcome me as family.  I have likewise learned about the essence of mother within the grief, pain, and difficulty of family, community, and worldly hardships.

Through my own process of recovery and spiritual healing, I have learned to mother myself.  To care for my own being and to see my presence in this life as something remarkable.  I don't always remember or recognize this to be true, but mother energy reminds me in a kind and loving way.  My community reminds me as they embody the essence of mother and help hold me up when I cannot stand, or celebrate some simple joy.

Mother energy reminds me to feed myself nourishing food and to rest with snuggly blankets.  It reminds me to stretch both my body and my mind and to be kind to my own beautiful self.  Mother reminds me that I am beautiful everyday, even when the mind or outside world tells me otherwise, and I cannot believe it on my own.  Mother energy tells me to massage my own body with nourishing oil as an offering of love.  I hear the whisper of mother as I rise to bless a new a day, and each night as I tuck my own self into bed.

I embody mother energy when I am patient, and when I listen deeply to you.  Listening in an effort to hold space for whatever you feel, and not offer advice to make myself feel better.  The essence of mother does not need to meddle of fix, it simply is present and open.  I embody mother energy when I open my home to a "stranger" in need or welcome someone whom I don't particularly like, offering unconditional love to all beings equally.  The essence of mother does not judge or put conditions on love and generosity.

I am mother when I lay in the grass with my toddler friend, ears to the ground listening to the rhythm of mother earth.  I am mother as I lay in bed with my dying friend and hold her until that final breath.  When I care for the tiny garden sprouts and help protect and nourish them as they grow big and strong, I am the embodiment of mother.  As I cohabitate with a nesting family of cactus wren, it is mother energy that allows me to welcome them and their "mess", rather than shoo them away.

Each of us embodies the essence of mother at various points in this weird, confusing life.  Let us honor the mother in each and all of us.  Let us ask the essence of mother to guide us back into wholeness.  To hold our grief and sustain us as we let ourselves unravel.  Let us ask the essence of mother to wash away our pain and restore our spirits.  In gratitude to mother earth, grandmother moon, and all of the mother energy within and all around, let us offer a humble bow of gratitude and a promise to continue on the path so generously laid out by those who've come before.

I invite you to consider how you receive, give, and share the essence of mother within your community, family, and the various relationships in your life.  I invite you to mother yourself today in a new, or long forgotten way.  To remember and recognize all those who have taught you what mother energy is.  To see them in this way, perhaps for the first time.  I invite you, as we honor the essence of mother, to consider all that you have birthed and all that you continue to nourish.

In closing this heart-ful essay, I want to honor my own mother-parent and all of the many mother figures in my life.  If I were to list your names, this essay would never end.  I hope you know who you are.  You have shaped the arc of my life in some way, and I hope that you also receive my offering of mother energy to you.  If not, let's talk about it......

I deeply love my mother-parent and am in awe of the evolution of our relationship.  It has not been an easy road, but it has been and continues to be one of the most rewarding journeys of my life.  I am able to see her more fully today than I ever could in my youth.  Through offering her a non-parent form of mother energy, forgiveness and compassion has replaced judgement.  Patience and openness has replaced irritation and self-righteousness. Through my own interwoven practice of self compassion and compassion for all beings, and her consistent expression of (mostly) unconditional love, we have found our way into a relationship that will live through me way beyond her eventual death.  Mom, I am so very grateful for all you offer to me, my siblings, my beloved community of friends and weirdos, and so many other beings in this world.  Thank you for being.